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Today is Wednesday
Today Is Wednesday
Well, doesn’t this look nice.
Air date July 10, 2013
Written by CookieEyes
Other episodes by the author

Dinner Party

Midnight Blaze Part 1

 

Plot

After eighty six years of being frozen, Lord Tourettes and Wednesday try to get to the last time machine in existence to bring them back home. However, an evil queen kidnaps Lord Tourettes, and Wednesday isn’t leaving this time period without her brother.

Transcript

July 29th, 2099

(A virtual car parks in front an unknown building. The car doors fly open and a light purple woman walks out. She turns her head to the inside of the car and beckons someone to come out. She walks towards the front as two robot servants follow behind. Inside the building are hundreds of robot servants, with a few humans dressed in uniforms. None of the robots are moving.)

Human #1: (walks to the woman) How can we help you, madam?

Woman: Can I get two new heads? (points to her robots) These two have been acting quite odd ever since they were dropped off at my place by some scientists. Plus, their eyes look realistic and the eye color is different from the usual red eyes.

Human #1: Well, I suppose we could do something about that. (turns to the human at the front desk) Yo Rico, got any heads left?

Rico: Yep. (picks up a hammer) Plenty of ‘em. (takes a severed robot head and smashes it open)

(The slightly shorter robot grows scared at the sight and makes a small whimper. The other robot put its hand over its mouth, gesturing at its partner to keep quiet.)

Woman: Very well then. I’ll be back in a bit. (leaves the building)

(Two other men grab the robots and take them to an empty room. They then leave them there without a word. As soon as the door closes, the taller robot listens closely to what is going on outside.)

Voice #1: We got ‘em into the room. Got the new heads ready?

Rico: I just need to get some more from the closet.

Voice #1: Alright. Also, make sure the eyes don’t look realistic and that they’re red.

Rico: Roger.

Voice #2: You called?

Rico: For God’s sake, Roger. I wasn’t referring to you!

(The taller robot backs away from the door. Both of them notice the room has a window with metal bars. They look at each other before taking off there robot heads, revealing themselves to be Lord Tourettes and Wednesday.)

Wednesday: So…seen any movies where the character successfully breaks through those?

Lord Tourettes: None that I can remember.

Wednesday: Terrific… (walks up to the window) Unfortunately, this window doesn’t seem to lead outside. Just some hallway.

(While she has her back turned, Lord Tourettes notices his robot suit has a watch that isn’t working.)

Wednesday: Let’s see… I’ve seen movie advertisements where characters are trying to break through bars, but those were either movies I haven’t seen yet or didn’t care about. (as Lord Tourettes tries to get his watch to work) These bars are metal, so maybe if we had a fire or something…

Lord Tourettes: Sis? What time is it?

Wednesday: Err… (turns to him) About noon?

Lord Tourettes: FUCK you, Sis. (goes back to fixing his watch)

Wednesday: (turns to the window) You’re welcome. Now back to this...

(Lord Tourettes enters the time and his watch starts beeping.)

(The siblings watch as a small gun emerges from Lord Tourettes’ watch. The gun aims at the watch and charges a laser. The gun fires the laser and Wednesday jumps away as the entire wall explodes. Lord Tourettes is surprised, but he happily grins at the destroyed wall.)

Wednesday: (after a brief pause) Okay. That works too.

(They both leave the room. They try to look for an exit, but stop when they approach the closet, where Rico is inspecting robot heads, not noticing the two.)

(Lord Tourettes gestures at his sister to be quiet and sneaks up on Rico from behind. He reaches toward Rico’s key set and slips it off his belt without pulling too hard. As soon as he gets the key set, he kicks the back of Rico’s head and closes the door.)

Lord Tourettes: (locks the closet door) Have fun in there SHITHEAD!

(They run off and go back to finding the exit. After they leave, one of the workers walks down the hallway. Rico bangs his hands against the closet, startling the other worker.)

Rico: Help! Someone please!

Worker: Rico, is that you?

Rico: Myron! Oh thank God! I can’t get out of the closet! Are my keys on the floor somewhere?

Myron: No. I thought Eric gave you a strict order that you must always have your keys on your belt.

Rico: I guess that asshole who locked me in here took ‘em.

(Another worker approaches Myron)

Worker: What’s going on here?

Myron: Rico can’t come out of the closet, Victor.

Victor: Huh? I thought he had a girlfriend.

Myron: No, dumbass. Someone took his keys.

Victor: Oh… But seriously, he has a girlfriend, right?

Myron: Dude!

Victor: I’m just asking!

Myron: Whatever! Just go get the others and see if there is a copy of the key somewhere.

Victor: Roger that!

(Roger walks up to them.)

Roger: That what?

(Myron and Victor facepalm themselves.)

Rico: Seriously, Roger. We’ve been over this a zillion times.

(Outside the building, Lord Tourettes & Wednesday make it all the way to the city. The whole place is quiet and the sky is almost covered in clouds. The sun is setting, making it glow on one side of each cloud. Not a single person or car is in sight.)

Wednesday: (slightly fascinated) …Wow. I’ve never thought I’d see this place look so deserted.

Lord Tourettes: Looks like those scientists were DAMNED after all…

Wednesday: But they did say not everyone left. So if we’re lucky, we might find someone, but I don’t want to stay here to chat with them. Let’s just find Ancient Secrets n’ Things, find that time machine the scientists told us about, and get the hell out of here.

(Lord Tourettes quietly nods)

(Time lapse. The two are walking down the streets approaching Ancient Secrets n’ Things. As they walk, they look around to see the arcade, the gym, and Maulmart with half of their windows broken and some parts of the walls smashed. Lord Tourettes sadly looks at a destroyed building that was once Red and Blue’s apartment building.)

Wednesday: (noticing her brother’s sad face) (sighs) We’re just about to enter the store. When we first get back to our own time period, I promise I’ll let you go hang out with Red and Blue, okay?

Lord Tourettes: … (looks down) Okay.

Wednesday: Good. Besides, I bet if we set the machine to take us to the exact date we went missing, people would hardly even notice we were go—

(She is about push open the door to Ancient Secret n’ Things, but instead pushes so lightly, she bangs her head against the door.)

Wednesday: Ow! What the…?

(The two see that the place is wrapped in fresh, green vines.)

Lord Tourettes: What in the SHIT happened here?

(Wednesday tries to snap one of the smaller vines, but fails.)

Wednesday: …Is someone keeping us from going in?

Lord Tourettes: Hmm?

Wednesday: Think about it. Didn’t the scientists say that this is the only place that has a time machine that still functions? They sure didn’t say anything about the place being wrapped in these. Someone must’ve put these vines around the building so that it could prevent people from going in to use the machine.

(They think for a moment, but then they hear a sudden, dark chuckle. From behind them, a green portal appears on the ground. A few vines emerge from the ground before a dark teal woman floats up from the hole. The woman had very long, flowing hair, along with a skirt with a ton of ripped holes in them. She opens her eyes and looks down at the siblings, revealing two differently colored pupils, one red and the other blue.)

Woman: (chuckles again) Right you are, black lips. Pretty impressive vines, aren’t they? I’ll have you two know; I was born to bind all kinds of things with these strong plants. (clenches her fist, making the vines in front her clench their tips)

Wednesday: Who the hell are you?!

Woman: Oh, my apologies. Where are my manners nowadays? Maybe it’s because I just haven’t communicated with a human being for so long. But, enough of these random facts. My name is Queen Laet, the ruler of this filthy Earth since 2076.

(Lord Tourettes hides behind Wednesday.)

Wednesday: Filthy, huh? (puts on a fake smile) Well, I guess I could congratulate you for making the place filthier than it was before.

Queen Laet: Thank you. It’s a little specialty that I have.

Wednesday: (bored) Yeah; whatever.

(Queen Laet goes back into the ground, but a moment later emerges behind them, her eyes focused on Lord Tourettes. Lord Tourettes sees her and yelps as he gets in front of Wednesday.)

Queen Laet: (chuckles) Well now. (uses a small vine to stroke LT’s cheek) Quite the scaredy cat you are.

Wednesday: (moves LT away from the vine) Hey. Don’t think I’m going to be friendly with you this quickly. I don’t trust people who immediately try to flirt with my brother shortly after greeting themselves.

Queen Laet: Hmph. Soooorrrry. I just thought your brother is kinda cuuuuute.

Wednesday: I appreciate your compliment, but I know what you’re thinking…

Queen Laet: Hmm… (thinks for a moment) …Of course you do.

(Laet shoves Wednesday hard against the store and more vines surround Lord Tourettes, lifting him up and wrapping him in a bind. He tries to break free, but to no avail.)

Wednesday: (quickly recovers) You…let him go, right now!

Queen Laet: No.

Wednesday: Let…him…go, (eyes turn red and she grits her teeth) or else!

Queen Laet: Or else what? As far as I can see, you don’t have anything to fight against me.

Wednesday: Hu— (realizes she doesn’t have her taser) Shit!

(Queen Laet summons a vine from the ground and uses it to quickly stab Wednesday in the stomach, making her choke up a few drops of blood before kneeling down, using her hands to try and hold in the blood from her stomach.)

Lord Tourettes: (gasps) Sis! No!

(Wednesday looks up at her brother before passing out as Queen Laet laughs maniacally.)

(LATER)

(Wednesday groans as she sits up in an unfamiliar bed. She rubs her eyes before looking around the room. It seems to be a large Japanese bedroom with a shelf, a futon, a bicycle in the corner, and a table.)

Wednesday: What the…? (is about to get up, back sits back down while clenching her stomach in pain) Huh? (notices she has a bandage wrapped around her stomach, with blood visible near the center) Oh shit! That definitely was not a dream… That means that bitch has Lord Tourettes! I swear to God, if she tries to do anything funny with him, I’ll—

(She is interrupted when she hears a door open. She looks over to the door to see the Raccoon carrying a tray with a bowl of soup.)

Raccoon: Ah. It’s about-a time you woke up.

Wednesday: Huh? How are you still alive?

Raccoon: Hmm?

Wednesday: I-I mean, uhh, you’re one of LT’s friends, right? What are you doing here in the future? Also, where are we?

Raccoon: We’re here at-a my house. (sets the tray on the table) I found you passed out in front of my grandfather’s shop-o.

Wednesday: Your grandfather’s shop?!

Raccoon’s Grandson: Yes. And I take it that is who you thought I was.

Wednesday: So, you’re actually part of this timeline… (slowly gets up, trying not to worsen her wound) Look, if you don’t mind, I need you to please tell me all that you know about this Queen Laet bitch. (takes the bowl of soup)

Raccoon’s Grandson: Ah! Queen Reat. I still remember the day she and her minions took over this country. People who tried to reave were either killed or turned into horribru monsters.

Wednesday: (spits out the broth of the soup she was drinking) Is that what she’s planning to do with Lord Tourettes?!

Grandson: Hmm?

Wednesday: Okay, look; I’m not from this timeline. Me and my younger brother Lord Tourettes were trying to get to the time machine inside Ancient Secrets n’ Things. Queen Laet came out of nowhere and almost tried to flirt with my brother. And as soon as I told her I knew what she was doing, she uses those vine things to trap him and stab me in the stomach.

Grandson: And ret me guess, my grandfather’s shop was wrapped in vines?

Wednesday: Yeah…

Grandson: Hmm… Listen.

(Wednesday puts her bowl of soup down.)

Grandson: If Reat was trying to flirt with your brother, then that would most rikely mean she will try to force him to marry her.

Wednesday: (groans and bangs her head against the table) Of course. There has to be that one bad guy that just has to force someone to marry him or her as soon as they meet.

Grandson: But, I actual-ry might know how you can get your brother back, but as for defeating Reat, that is almost impossibru.

Wednesday: I don’t care if the bitch dies or not! I just want to get me and my brother back home safely.

Grandson: (slightly shocked) Oh. Well, err…I was just about to get a weapon for you when you battle her.

Wednesday: Let me rephrase that first sentence a little. (slams a fist on the table) When I say that I don’t fucking care if she dies, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to tear off all of her limbs. Get what I’m saying?

Grandson: … (starts to walk out of the room) I’ll get it anyway.

(Time lapse. Raccoon’s grandson comes back with a katana and hands it to Wednesday, who is standing up, but still shaking in pain.)

Grandson: You are now holding the Katana of Execution. It will help you get through her vines. However, onry use it when you really need to. Otherwise, the sword will cause destruction on all plants arike.

Wednesday: (impatient) Okay. Yeah. Got it. Can I go now?

Grandson: Yes, but you’re gonna have to go through the Gray Road in order to escape the city.

Wednesday: Gray Road?

(The grandson goes over to the bottom right corner of the shelf, grabs onto the bottom of the wallpaper, and tears it upwards, revealing a hole that leads to an empty road with a blank background.)

Grandson: (noticing Wednesday’s confused face) Over the years, technology has improved better than it should have, and us people here on Earth have made portals in order to get to certain areas in case of an emergency.

Wednesday: That doesn’t make perfect sense.

Grandson: Trust me. In this period of time, almost nothing makes sense. (goes over to the corner) Here; use my bicycle. The Gray Road can be a difficult place to go through on foot. If you find the right exit, you will be sent to the entrance to the cemetery. Somewhere near one the gravestones is Raet’s secret hideout.

Wednesday: Wait! There’s more than one exit?!

Grandson: Well, there are places I’m too lazy to travel on foot. Back on the subject, I suggest you go quickry. Raet might have sent her minions after you about now.

Wednesday: What? Why?

Grandson: After Raet kills her victims, she sends her minions to go pick up the body and burn them in case they are still arive. And since you are no ronger at my grandfather’s shop, they are most rikely going to check everywhere in this city to find you.

Wednesday: But what about you? Are you going to be alright?

Grandson: I’ll be fine. As soon as you’re gone, I’ll close the portal in case they drop by. So go now. I wish you good ruck on saving your brother.

Wednesday: …Okay. (smiles slightly) Thanks.

(Raccoon’s grandson gives her the bicycle and she goes through the portal to the Gray Road with it, holding onto the katana with a tight grip. When she is gone, the grandson takes out a paint roller and a bucket of glue from the shelf and picks the end of the torn wallpaper, bringing it all the way back down before using the roller to close the portal with the glue.)

(He suddenly hears a knocking sound at his door. He goes to open it and sees a couple of Queen Laet’s minions horribly dressed as humans.)

Minion #1: (squeaky voice) Howdy, kitty. We are here to inspect your ho—

Grandson: Oh, fuck off. (closes the door in their faces)

(TWO HOURS LATER)

(At the entrance of the graveyard, a part of the ground starts to jump a few times before a fist bursts from it, making a hole in the ground. After the dirt from that spot falls into the hole, Wednesday climbs out of it, horrified from what she saw in there. She lies on the ground to take a few deep breathes before getting back up and seeing that she made it to the cemetery.)

Wednesday: …Thank God we’re supposed to be dead at this point in time. That was the weirdest place I’ve ever seen. (wipes sweat off her forehead) And I’ve been to Red and Blue’s apartment.

(She starts to walk into the cemetery, looking around for wherever Queen Laet’s base might be. She suddenly stops when she sees someone walking towards her. She squints her eyes for a closer look. The person seems to be a light blue kid.)

Wednesday: …Darla?

(She starts to move a little faster.)

Wednesday: (slows down) Uhh…hi Darla.

(Darla looks up from the ground, showing her bloodshot eyes.)

Darla: … (stops) Miss Wednesday?

Wednesday: (nervously laughs) Never thought I’d see you here.

Darla: …Never thought I’d see you alive.

Wednesday: Yeah…I can explain that.

Darla: You better have some explanation.

Wednesday: Are you okay? You sound a little…dead.

Darla: As if you want to know.

Wednesday: No really; I do. I like how creepy you sound but…it’s creepy.

(Darla looks around as if she thought someone was watching, then she beckons Wednesday to come with her. The two go further into the graveyard, and sadly skips over to a boulder with a flat surface. She sits down on it and so does Wednesday as soon as she caught up with her. Wednesday looks to where Darla is looking. In front of them are three headstones with no names.)

Darla: I know that this would sound a little boring after a while, and that most people would find this surprisingly serious, but if you insist on finding out why I’m like this, then I might as well tell you before I go back to traveling universes tomorrow. This is the only day of the year I’ll ever come to this universe from now on anyway.

Wednesday: Umm, okay…but what do you mean by “most people”?

(Darla ignores her question and stands above the center grave.)

Darla: Eighty six years ago today, July 29th, that is the day my friends died.

(Wednesday's eyes widen in shock.)

Darla: I saw the body bags myself; I didn’t need to look inside them, but I know one thing for sure…Midnight Blaze murdered them!

Wednesday: (thinking) Again with this Midnight Blaze person…

Darla: When I came to the tree house I was invited to via note, three of her friends were there, but not her. They told me it was too late, right before pointing to a corner of the tree house, where three—

Wednesday: Okay. I-I think I get it.

Darla: (showing anger in her voice) I could just hear those kids’ quiet giggles from behind me, and then Midnight showed up. I was so upset and furious I didn’t even give her the chance to talk. I went to another universe to fetch a witch that can easily eat people, and came back to the tree house with it. It bit all their heads off in just ten seconds. (giggles evilly, but stops immediately) BUT THAT DIDN’T MATTER! My friends are dead and those wankers didn’t care at all!

Wednesday: Wankers?

Darla: People like Blue, Pink, and Stacy were more focused on whatever happened to you and your brother rather than have any sympathy for me. Red was too lazy to help them go look for you, but when I came to tell him what happened to my friends, he told me he didn’t care and told me to sod off.

Wednesday: So…are you mad at us because people cared about us more than you?

Darla: (eyes starting to water up) No… It wasn’t you and your brother’s fault. It’s just that…even though they weren’t very likable to begin with, it would have been nice if someone were to share my pain. (slowly sits back on the rock with sobs choking her words) I-It’s all just hideous! I’m not a-a b-b-bitch-w-witch like Bro-s-s-seph would o-often call m-me. (camera goes to Wednesday looking very guilty) I-I’m j-just a bitch, a-aren’t I…?

(Wednesday eyes widen in horror as she turns her head away and has a sudden flashback.)

(A very young Wednesday is shown with her back turned and kneeling on the ground crying. Two puddles of blood can be seen near the front of her.)

(Flashback Ends)

(For a brief moment, Wednesday still shows a horrified expression, but she snaps out of it when she hears Darla sobbing again. She moves a little closer to Darla.)

Wednesday: You know…if I were there at the time, I would’ve comforted you.

Darla: You’re just saying that!

Wednesday: No really! I mean, yeah, some of your friends were douchebags, but…they were still your friends. I bet they were very important to you, and no matter what they have said or did to you, you still loved them very much. When they were killed, you were heartbroken because no one wanted to comfort you, for they were too busy focusing on something or someone else… (laughs weakly) Guess that someone was me and Lord Tourettes, the ones who’ve experienced the same thing.

Darla: …Huh?

Wednesday: (smiles weakly) …I like you, Darla. I really do. I’ll admit, since Earl Grey drained LT’s color, I never trusted him, but I understood why you were determined to avenge him whenever he’s gone. We’ve felt the same, you know.

Darla: (growing a little suspicious) …How do I know you’re really Miss Wednesday, or that you’re really sitting next to me and not some illusion I’m having?

Wednesday: Let me explain. According to some scientists, me and Lord Tourettes were caught in a huge laboratory explosion. Apparently, we were the only ones who survived, but we fell into a coma and instead of putting us in the hospital, they froze us because they thought we weren’t going to make it. They hid our bodies and never told our friends about it because they thought it’d be too upsetting to tell them. I guess after all they should’ve told them sooner, otherwise they wouldn’t have been so upset over us rather than you.

Darla: I told you, it wasn’t you or your brother’s fault.

Wednesday: As if I said it was our fault.

Darla: …Well, I guess I can believe you now with that sort of explanation… Where is Lord Tourettes though?

(Wednesday’s head perks up and she jumps off the boulder.)

Wednesday: OH CRAP!

Darla: What?

Wednesday: I gotta go! (runs off)

Darla: H-Hey! (floats after her) Come back!

(Short time lapse. They both reach a staircase in the ground that is blocked by vines. Wednesday takes out the katana as she speaks to Darla.)

Wednesday: Have you heard of Queen Laet? She pretty much rules this world now.

Darla: Yes, and I’ve actually seen her a couple of times. I never spoke to her though.

Wednesday: Well, looks like today will be the day you do speak to her, and then you’ll find out how much of a bitch she is.

Darla: But I already knew that.

(Wednesday cuts down the vines with just a few swings.)

Darla: Say, I’m just asking. While you were in a coma, did you dream at all? Any pleasant dreams? (suggestive) Like, getting engaged by a certain someone? (elbows Wednesday a bunch of times while raising her eyebrows) Huh? Huh?

Wednesday: (blushes) I-I don’t think so. I didn’t even know you could dream in comas.

Darla: According to some theories involving a 32-Bit PC game, you can.

(Wednesday motions her to keep quiet as she descends down the stairs, with Darla floating behind.)

(Queen Laet’s lair)

(Some of Queen Laet’s minions are helping her put on her wedding dress. In the background, Lord Tourettes is tied to a pole near an altar.)

Minion: (finishes tying a bow on Laet’s dress) There. All set.

Queen Laet: Excellent! (pulls something out for him) Here; have a bag of money.

(The minion’s eyes sparkle and he takes the bag without hesitation.)

Queen Laet: (to another minion) You there! Be a lamb and be the priest for the wedding.

(The minion nods and puts on a dirty robe. Queen Laet walks up to the altar, noticing that Lord Tourettes has dried up tears down his cheeks.)

Queen Laet: Awww, what’s the matter, cutie? Is it your sister?

Lord Tourettes: (showing anger and sadness in his voice) Yes it is! You killed her for no GODDAMN reason, BITCH!

Queen Laet: She was in our way, obviously.

Lord Tourettes: In our ASS of what? This?! We don’t even FUCK each other.

Queen Laet: Well, we will soon. Just wait.

(The two minions who were at Raccoon’s grandson’s house rush up to their queen.)

Minion #1: Uhh, your majesty… (nervously laughs)

Minion #2: We, uhh, don’t know for sure if she’s dead.

Queen Laet: (suddenly turns to them) WHAT do you mean?

Minion #1: W-We…never found…her body. (hides behind his partner in fear)

Queen Laet: YOU MEAN SHE WASN’T AT THE STORE?! I TOLD YOU TO SEARCH THE ENTIRE TOWN!

Minions: We did!

Queen Laet: WELL THEN WHERE THE FUCK COULD SHE BE?!

(Behind her, the door, which is made of vines, is suddenly cut in half. Wednesday enters with her eyes red again. Darla hides in the doorway, but takes a small peek inside.)

Queen Laet: What the—?!

Lord Tourettes: (smiles immediately) Sis! You’re alive!

(A few minions, startled by her appearance, rush towards Wednesday to attack, but she stabs one without taking her eyes off Laet. The other minions, afraid to get killed, back away from her.)

Queen Laet: (groans) You all are cowards! (to Wednesday) Listen; I don’t know how you recovered from my deadly vines, but if you really insist on defeating me, let me ask you something. (wraps an arm around Lord Tourettes) You wouldn’t want your dear brother to get involved in the fight, would you? It’d be a shame if something bad were to happen to him. Like, you know, if you were to accidentally cut him with your sword?

Darla: (off-screen) She’s actually holding a katana.

Queen Laet: Who said that?

Darla: (still off-screen) Me?

Queen Laet: Whatever. All that matters is that I can easily use your brother to keep you from attacking me.

(Darla teleports behind Queen Laet and punches her in the back of the head. She teleports away from her before Queen Laet turns around.)

Queen Laet: WHAT THE FUCK?!

(Wednesday runs up to Laet while her back is turned and stabs her in one leg. Laet yelps in pain as she trips over. While she is on the ground bleeding, Wednesday takes this opportunity to cut the vines holding Lord Tourettes. She takes his hand and leaves the lair with him as soon as the vines are all cut.)

Queen Laet: (growls as soon as she gets up) KILL THEM!!

(Ancient Secrets n’ Things)

(Wednesday starts to cut the large vines blocking the door. However, because the vines are so thick, she has to move the katana back and forth like a person cutting meat with a knife.)

Darla: You’re gonna have to be quick. Her minions are getting closer.

Lord Tourettes: I sure hope the SHIT machine is still in there.

(Wednesday finishes cutting one vine. Darla uses some of her magic to fire blue lightning spheres at some minions at the front of the crowd. Another vine has been cut.)

Darla: Hurry up, will you?

Wednesday: I’m going as fast as I can. You seem more impatient than that time when we had to get you that bubblegum or whatever.

(The magic from Darla’s hands fade away.)

Darla: … (quietly laughs) That was a fun time…

(Wednesday suddenly stops cutting and looks at Darla sympathetically.)

Lord Tourettes: …Sis?! They’re getting closer!

Wednesday: Huh? Uhh, right. (grabs the last two vines and cuts them as fast as she can)

(Wednesday kicks the door open and the three run towards the back of the shop. They see the time machine, but it is covered in layers of dust. Lord Tourettes and Wednesday walk up to it, only to have a man with a pig head, no eyes, and a bear hat jump out of the machine and almost scare the shit out of them.)

Lord Tourettes & Wednesday: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Darla: (screams) Go away!

(Darla uses her magic to make the creature swell up and explode.)

Wednesday: …What the hell was that thing?

Darla: ManBearPig. They’ve been a new species since 2047. If you were too close to it, your faces would’ve been torn off in seconds.

(A minion with sharp tentacles coming from its back enters the room.)

Minion: Prepare to die, motherfu— (swells up and explodes due to Darla’s magic)

(One of the tentacles ends up in the time machine. Lord Tourettes climbs into the machine, but Wednesday kneels down next to Darla.)

Wednesday: Hey…

(Darla glances at her.)

Wednesday: I just want to say…when I’m back in our own time period, if I ever have a chance…I could probably help you prevent the deaths of, well…you know.

(Lord Tourettes looks at them, confused with what Wednesday is talking about. Darla glares at Wednesday for a moment.)

Darla: …You’re probably just saying that…but I’ll believe you. (looks away) Just go. Tell Broseph my future self misses him.

Wednesday: Who?

Darla: … (sighs) Just bloody go.

Wednesday: Okay. (gets into the machine) (to Lord Tourettes) Hey, do you exactly remember what day it was when we got in that laboratory explosion?

Lord Tourettes: (smiles) Nope! I just entered a random SHIT in 2013.

Wednesday: (as the machine lights start to flash) (facepalms) Of course…

(The time machine disappears along with the two siblings, and more minions enter the room until eventually Queen Laet comes in with a vine wrapped around the leg Wednesday stabbed. Queen Laet looks down at Darla.)

Darla: … (smiles nervously) Hi. (teleports out of there)

July 10th, 2013

(The siblings are still in Ancient Secrets n’ Things, but back in their own time. However, once they got back, they startled Raccoon, who was in the room.)

Raccoon: What-a the fuck?!

Lord Tourettes: Did we make it? Are we back?

(Lord Tourettes picks up the minion’s tentacle before they both get out of the machine and rush to the calendar.)

Wednesday: July 10th, 2013… (gestures at her brother to hug her) We made it!

(The two hug while spinning and cheering. The raccoon, still confused as to what just happened, shrugs it off and starts to clear the dust off the other time machine. He then notices the katana, which Wednesday left behind.)

(Short time lapse. The two exit the shop with the tentacle over Lord Tourettes’ shoulder.)

Lord Tourettes: Welp, I better get FUCKING. I’m going to Red and Blue’s place and show them this SHIT. (waves the tentacle in the air)

Wednesday: Okay. You do that. As for me, (sighs in relief) I need a freaking coffee. I probably won’t be back until evening.

Lord Tourettes: Ha! Ta-ta. (giggles and skips away)

(Wednesday starts to walk to the coffee shop, but Lord Tourettes runs back to her.)

Lord Tourettes: (tightly hugs her before she could notice him) Thank you, Wednesday. I love you. (gives her a kiss on the cheek before running off again)

(Wednesday turns to him as he leaves, then smiles a little before continuing her walk.)

(Cuts to Lord Tourettes skipping on the sidewalk. He suddenly stops when he sees Maroon dressed as a scientist outside a laboratory.)

Maroon: Okay… (checks his clipboard) The machine I made is now in the building. (rubs his hands together) Once the ladies see how much of a scientific genius I am, they’ll be falling for me in no time. I might even have a chance to win that foxy lady. (chuckles)

(Lord Tourettes, overhearing what Maroon said, runs up to him and stabs him through the stomach with the tentacle.)

-Episode Ends-

Trivia

  • The "Roger" thing was a slight reference to a scene from the movie "Airplane".
  • Midnight Blaze is once again mentioned.
  • When Darla said that according to a theory involving a game where supposedly you can dream while in coma, she made a reference to a well known RPG Game called "Yume Nikki" ("Dream Diary" in Japanese). There is no real story behind the game, so many fans of the game made theories as to what they thought had happened before or during the events of the game. One theory states that the main character was in a coma and was dreaming within a dream.

Gallery

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