|Other episodes by the author|
Beginning of Season 4
Lord Tourettes is finally going to get a girlfriend! But is this girl going to be with him?
- Lord Tourettes
- Lady Tourettes
- Various Women
- Steve (mentioned)
- Restaurant Waiter
- Child Bullies
(shows Lord Tourettes selling some flowers. A woman passes him and he offers her some flowers)
Lord Tourettes: Would you like this BUTT-SALAD of flowers?
Girl 1: (eyes widen) Uhhh. I think I'm alright. (walks off)
Lord Tourettes: (sighs, packs his stuff and begins to walk home and runs into another girl) Ah! Would you like a pretty ring FUCK-FACE?
Girl 2: (eyes widen) Um, no thanks. (walks off)
(Lord Tourettes realises why people don't take his offers and he sits down sad, Holly sees him and walks over to him)
Holly: What's wrong L.T.?
Lord Tourettes: No girl wants to be my DICK-FACE because of my Tou-SHIT syndrome!
Holly: (hugs him) Oh don't be sad L.T. I'm sure you'll find a girl that likes you. I mean, I like you!
Lord Tourettes: Yeah but you FUCK me as a friend!
Holly: Don't be upset L.T. It's not the end of the world. You'll eventually find a girl who loves you as a boyfriend.
Lord Tourettes: (sniffs) Okay.
Holly: Good. I hope you'll understand. (kisses L.T. on cheek and walks off)
Lord Tourettes: (sniffs) Thanks Holly.
Rapper: Heh. Looks like Holly dumped Steve for you! (laughs)
Lord Tourettes: Knock it off FUCK-TARD! She was just trying to cheer me up!
Rapper: Well if your looking for a girlfriend I can help. (points to a dark pink girl)
Lord Tourettes: Wow! Look at that BITCH! She's wearing a hat like mine! (runs off)
Rapper: Heh. And my work is already done! (shoots a guy off-screen)
Lord Tourettes: (bumps into dark pink girl) Oh sorry about that! I didn't watch where I was going!
Dark Pink: (looks away)
Lord Tourettes: What's wrong?
Dark Pink: (looks away)
Lord Tourettes: It's alright! I'm a DICK!
(suddenly the dark pink girl's head pops up and a flashback occurs. The dark pink girl is seen as a kid walking down the hallway at school. She approaches a dark blue kid)
Dark Blue Kid: Well boys look what we have here! It's that lame girl we always make fun of! So tell me weirdo! What are you having for lunch?
Dark Pink: Well I bought a sandwhich from the FUCK-A-TERIA!
Bully 2: Wow! She really IS a weirdo!
Dark Blue: Well (knocks down sandwhich) Your lunch just got ruined! (laughs)
Dark Pink: (starts to cry) Hey! That's not funny RETARD!
Dark Blue: Now Give me your lunch money!
Dark Pink: NO!
Dark Blue: No!? Well we're just gonna have to beat it out of ya!
(The 2 other bullies start going through the girl's pockets. One of them picks up 5 bucks)
Dark Pink: Hey! That's my money!
Dark Blue: Oh really? (boils money and eats the money) Well now it just became my desert!
Dark Pink: (cries) Stop it!
(The two bullies start beating up the dark pink girl and she starts crying loudly, A young Lord Tourettes sees what's going on and gets angry)
Lord Tourettes: Hey! Leave her alone!
Dark Blue: Oh really? What are you going to do fuckface!?
Lord Tourettes: (kicks the dark blue kid in the crotch and punches his face)
Dark Blue: (cries) No! We were only joking! (runs off)
Lord Tourettes: And don't come back or I'll FUCK YOUR DICK SO HARD YOUR FACE WILL MELT INTO SHIT AND I'LL PISS ON YOUR BALLS!!!!!!
Dark Pink: OMG! I remember you! You're that DICKHEAD who saved me from COCK SUCKING BITCHES!
Lord Tourettes: Oh yeah! What the FUCK was your name? Oh yeah! Lady Tourettes! Sure does BITCH you
Lady Tourettes: (laughs) Thank you! Hey do you want to go to that TITTY resteraunt tonight? We should FUCK up on our past!
Lord Tourettes: Cool! See ya then BITCH-FACE!
(Time cut, shows L.T. & M.T. at a fancy resteraunt)
Lord Tourettes: So what was your SHIT like back in High School?
Lady Tourettes: Very SHITTY! Everyday I thought it was HELL because I really missed you!
Lord Tourettes: (happily cries) I missed you too!
Waitor: Alright so can I get you two anything to eat?
Lord Tourettes: (reads menu) I'll have the PILE OF SHIT!
Lady Tourettes: I'll have the BLOODY HEART OF FUCK!
Waitor: (freaked out) Uhhhh. sure. (walks off)
Lady Tourettes: So after dinner can we look at the sunset?
Lord Tourettes: Of course BITCH!
(Time cut, shows L.T. & M.T. looking at the sun setting)
Lord Tourettes: Today was so FUCKING CHEESY!
Lady Tourettes: Heh. Yeah.
(L.T. & L.T. both look at each other and nervously laugh and without any shock. The two lean forward and finally kiss)
Lord Tourettes: Heh. I FUCK you baby.
Lady Tourettes: I SHIT too!
(Lord Tourettes & Lady Tourettes wrap arms around each other as the sun sets)