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Swag

This is gonna be a boring day for Lifty and Shifty.... In a traffic jam.

Characters

Lifty and Shifty

Turtle Dragon

Transcripts

On a freeway (where a lot of cars were honking, Lifty was listening to Zelda's Lullaby from the "Legend of Zelda" with a bored face. Suddenly Shifty smacks himself onto the window.)

Shifty- LIFTY LET ME IN!!!!

Lifty- Aah!! Crap, man!!

(Shifty slides down the window and jumps though the window of the van.

Lifty- H-HEY!! Shifty, can't you use the door like a human for once?! I mean, we ARE raccoons after all.

Shifty- What are all these cars doing here?

Lifty- What are you doing here?? This is a freeway!!

Shifty- Free country, bitch. Let's fire it up!!

(Shifty honks the horn, making a rhythm of Mario's theme. Lifty pushes away.)

Lifty- Stop it, Fuck-Head.

Shifty- UGH!!! This music sounds like Magikarp barf!!!!

Lifty- There's nothing about the Legend of Zelda.

Shifty- EVERYTHING'S ABOUT THE LEGEND OF ZELDA!!!! I need something to get me the beat.

(Radio plays "Evacuate the Dance Floor". Lifty covers his raccoon ears.)

Shifty- THIS SONG'S GIVING ME A BONER!!!!

Lifty- AAH!!! My ears!! It's hurts!!!

(Lifty turns the music down.)

Shifty- I need a Minute nap.

(Shifty dunks his head on the air bag and pops it.)

Shifty- Whoa. I almost got killed back there.

Lifty- WHAT THE FUCK, SHIFTY?! You broke our air bag.

Shifty- It's okay. We don't need an air bag. We'll buy one tomorrow.

Lifty- Ugh....

(Lifty and Shifty noticed a huge figure while screams are heard.)

Shifty- Okay. We're gonna need an air bag.

(Suddenly, a giant fire breathing turtle crushes the car, making them explode. Lifty and Shifty started to scream.)

Lifty- IS THAT A TURTLE?!

Shifty- NO IT'S A FREAKING DRAGON!!!!!

(As the turtle's leg slowly moves to Lifty and Shifty's van.)

Lifty- GET OUT OF THE CAR!!!!

Shifty- You got it, Soilder!!!

(Lifty and Shifty got out of the van and runs off. Lifty runs back.)

Lifty- Wait!! I forgot the keys.

(Runs away. Runs back.)

Lifty- My iPhone.

(Runs away. Runs back.)

Lifty- My computer.

(Runs away. Runs back.)

Lifty- There's a orb in the trunk.

(Lifty opens the van trunk.)

Lifty- What?? Wow. That's a lot of stuff.

(While Lifty was looking in the trunk, Shifty comes back with a sword.)

Shifty- (Low Voice) Swag.

(Shifty jumps on the turtle and chops it's head off, making it fall on the floor. Lifty sees Shifty killing the turtle.)

Lifty- I regret nothing.

(Lifty and Shifty got back into the van.)

Shifty- LETS GO, SOLIDER!!!

Lifty- Sir Yes Sir!!

(Lifty and Shifty drove off at the end.)

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