Un-Smart Professor
Season 12 - Un-Smart Genius
"You isn't got none shit."
Air date May 26, 2014.
Written by YoshiRocker13, AndrewBrauer
Directed by YoshiRocker13
Other episodes by the author

Rise of Dark Rayne

Babysit Hotshit



After ruining an important new invention, Professor Stick quits on being smart and becomes a drunk idiot.



(Twilight was practicing spells in the park, by turning trees into ice cream cones, and the lake into soda)

Twilight: Nice, now I can make anything into candy.

(Professor Stick was building a new invention in his laboratory)

Professor Stick: (finishes his invention) There! My money making machine is finished! This will surely help all those orphans down the street.

(Twilight tries to make a water fountain into a gummy bear, but it accidentally reflect itself and hits Professor Stick's invention in his lab, turning it into a giant gummy bear)

Professor Stick: What in holy fuck?!

Twilight: (Worried) Oh no! (Follows where the spell hit and it leads her into Professor Stick's lab)

Professor Stick: This is disasterous! It took me 3 months to make this machine!

Twilight: (To Professor Stick) Excuse me, did... (Coughs) my spell hit something in here?


Twilight: Oh sorry. (Quietly) Let me fix that. (Senses a spell that turns the invention back to normal) There you go.

Professor Stick: Phew, thank you.

Twilight: (Sighs) Well, you're welcome.

Professor Stick: Now I have to present this machine to the public.

Twilight: Is it to help people or something?

Professor Stick: Well It's going to definitely help the orphanage downtown.

Twilight: (Gulps) Can I help somehow?

Professor Stick: Well all you COULD do is support me down there.

Twilight: I can summon up some food for the orphans, I can do that.

Professor Stick: Wonderful.

(It shows Professor Stick in front of a crowd of people)

Professor Stick: And this machine, will bring luck to those orphans down the street!

(The crowd cheers)

(Professor Stick activates the machine as it starts creating money)

(Twilight summons up plates of meals for the orphans)

(Suddenly, his machine starts to overload and money starts flying everywhere. Finally the machine blows up.)

Crowd: (boos) Woman: Professor Stick! You have ruined what could have saved an orphanage!

Professor Stick: Maybe I needed to put more effort into it.

Woman: No! Your just not good enough to build these things!

(Professor Stick looks down sadly before walking away)

Twilight: (Catches up to him) You are good enough, they don't now what they're talking about.

Professor Stick: No, I'm not. I've messed up the last five inventions now I'm not good for anything! (walks away from Twilight)

(Professor Stick walks into the bar with no reason.)

Professor Stick: (sighs)

Bartender: What'll it be sir?

Professor Stick: Nothing. I don't drink.

Bartender: Sure? (hands him a cup) Free bear for every new guy.

Professor Stick: No.

Bartender: Come on, just one drink!


Professor Stick: (sighs) Fine. Just one sip.

(He takes a bottle of beer and drinks a bit of it.)

Professor Stick: It's... Actually not that bad. (drinks a bit more) Wow! This is really good! (drinks a lot more) PARTYYYYYYY!

(Everybody starts dancing.)

Red: (walks into the bar) Who started the party without me?!

(Red notices Professor Stick)

Red: (surprised) I think I am dreaming.

Professor Stick: (now drunk) (puts money on the counter) Gimme a strip dance!

(Three girls come out and all start dancing around Professor Stick.)

Professor Stick: Whooo! Shake that hip!

Red: (watches through the window) HEEEEY!

(Professor Stick goes outside the back.)

Professor Stick: (drunk) Zings just toooo cwazy...

(Gang Members surround him.)

Gang Member #1: Yo! Get outta our street!

Gang Member #2: Or we'll rob and kill you.

Professor Stick: (while spitting) Pfffft! I can take ya bitches!

Gang Member #1: Hey! Isn't that the stupid Professor that ruined that money making machine?

Gang Member #2: Yeah! It was!

Gang Member #3 and #4: GET HIM!

(They charge at Professor Stick.)

Professor Stick: Bring it ya bitches.

(When the Gang Member tries punching Professor Stick, he drunkenly ducks and upper punches the Gang Member. Professor Stick tumbles back flipping over the Gang Member, landing behind him and drunkenly kicks the Gang Member into the other. The last Gang Member tries shooting Professor Stick but he suddenly hits them back at him.)

Gang Member #4: WHAT THE FUCK?! How did he get me like THAT?!

Professor Stick: (snaps out of it) Huh?! What happened?

(He notices the Gang Members all beaten up and bruised.)

Gang Member #3: You beat us up!

Professor Stick: I- I did?

(The gang members run off.)

Professor Stick: What am I doing? This isn't me... Oh who am I kidding? I'm not a Professor anymore.

Bartender: Hey cherry guy! More beer on the house!

Professor Stick: (smiles) Count me in! (runs inside)

(Later, Twilight was looking for Professor Stick, she notices him in the streets looking drunk.)

Twilight: Professor? Is that you?

Professor Stick: (drunk) Damn right tis me! (laughs stupidly)

Twilight: Why are you intoxicated?

Professor Stick: Cuz I am bitch! (laughs)

Twilight: (Sighs) You need to calm down, you may not know me, but I can help you. (Sits down on the sidewalk with Professor Stick)

Professor Stick: (drunk) Help me be a better man yeah!

Twilight: I mean help you at getting better with your inventions.

Professor Stick: (back to normal) (Sighs) How can I Twilight? When I've messed up all the time?

Twilight: You can, you have such great ideas and are motivated to make them real. (Kisses Professor Stick on the cheek and he blushes) Wait, how do you know my name?

Professor Stick: (blushes) Well, I guess I just knew judging by the name of that book you have.

Twilight: Oh, it's pretty much a dead giveaway then. (Looks away)

Professor Stick: Wait? What's wrong?

Twilight: Nothing, it's just... the moment.

Professor Stick: Right... (looks down)

Twilight: Sorry, it's just that, I... don't have... many friends.

Professor Stick: Why not?

Twilight: I'm just... pretty antisocial.

Professor Stick: Really? Because I think your... (puts a hand on her hand) Wonderful...

Twilight: How? You just met me, you don't know me.

Professor Stick: Yes I do. We met before when you turned my machine into a gummy bear. Look what I'm saying is that you just think to yourself that because you have all of these magic, you don't have any friends. Well, you need to stop and think that these magic of yours could do so much greatness to this world. That is how wonderful you are, because you help those that you care about.

Twilight: Your right, you do the same thing for others.

Professor Stick: And so are you. (pounds his fist) I have to get back to making more machines!

Twilight: Can... I help? (Twilight rubs her head)

Professor Stick: All the help a guy could need. (smiles)

Twilight: (Smiles) Thanks. (Hugs Professor Stick)

(Professor Stick and Twilight stop hugging and both look at each other. They slowly lean towards each other, as they kiss lips while the sun shines on them.)

Twilight: Wow! So that's what kissing is like.

Professor Stick: (in his mind) She's so beautiful... when she kissed me.

Twilight: I sense that this was your first kiss as well. Is that true?

Professor Stick: Yes... it was...

Twilight: Well then, we must have been destined to meet.

Professor Stick: Yes. We were...

(They hear an explosion.)

Professor Stick: ....Did that come from my la-



What do you think about Un-Smart Professor?

The poll was created at 12:43 on May 26, 2014, and so far 3 people voted.

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