|Season 2, Episode 3|
A Day with Lord Tourettes
Oboes Bi, the Karate Master
Autotune Bee: DICKS STICKS' BACK, MOTHERFUCKAS!
Derek: Wow. It's been a while since I've been in practice. No crimes to solve or people to punish for almost four months. I guess since I haven't been in practice in a long while, I might as well explain how I bust crime!
Derek: GET BACK HERE YOU BITCH!
Criminal: Haha! This money is mine!
(Derek whips out his gun and shoots it)
Derek: Haha, got you now!
(Criminal gets up)
Derek: Wait, what?
Criminal: HAHA, YOU'VE UNLEASHED MY POWER!
(Giant wings pop out his the criminal's back)
Criminal Monster: OH, IT HURTS SO GOOD!
Derek: Well this sucks.
Criminal Monster: GET OVER HERE YOU INCIPIENT SWINE!
Derek: Haha! You think you can defeat me? Watch this!
(He takes out a whistle, with the DICKS logo engraved on it.)
Issac, Cameron, Kaleb, Samuel: You called, Derek?
Derek: Yeah, we got this crazy mo-fo over here tryin' to destroy the town!
Criminal Monster: YOU FIVE PUNY HUMAN-STICKS CAN'T POSSIBLY DEFEAT ME!
Derek: Oh yeah? DICKS, attack!
(Issac leaps onto the Criminal Monsters back)
(Issac takes out his sword)
Issac: Take THIS!
(He stabs the monster)
C.M: HOLY CRAP THAT HURTS!
Derek: Guys, his back is his weak point! ATTACK THE BACK!
(The DICKS all hop on his back)
(They all shoot his back in rapid succession)
C.M: OH GOD! THIS HURTS SO MUUUuuuuchhh...
(The criminal turns back into a human, Derek picks him up)
Derek: Have fun in jail, idiot.
(A police car arrives just in time, the police grabs him and tosses him in the car)
Derek: Hey jackass.
Derek: Don't drop the soap.
(He smiles and winks to the criminal)
Criminal: Fuck you.
(The car speeds off into the sunset, while the DICKS go back home.)