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War of the Dicks
War of the Dicks
Air date 8-10-2013
Written by YoshiRocker13
Directed by YoshiRocker13
Location Olympics
Other episodes by the author

Science No More

Sparkles with Love

 There are many great guys out there. But out of all the guys, which is the best? Each will prove even if it involves a crazy war.

Characters

Transcript

(Red & Blue sit in their apartment with bored looks)

Blue: Guess this is catching up on the past, huh?

Red: Boooring!

(Door knocks)

Blue: (answers) Hello?

Trollz0r: (Aw Yea Face) Duudes! There's a crazy bar that opened! It's got EVERYTHING! (cries) Everything I could want!

Blue: Like what?

Trollz0r: Beer, Dance Parties, Girls and-

Red: WHAT!?!?!

Blue: (face palms) Oh no...

Trollz0r: (LOL face) I'm going there!

Red: (rushes outside in lightning speed) MINE!

Trollz0r: Coming?

Blue: Are you fucking kidding!? Pink will kill me!

Trollz0r: It'll only be 30 minutes!

Blue: (sighs) FIne.

(suddenly cuts to the new bar as party music is heard)

Girl: (bored) These men are so crazy.

Raccoon: I can go all night baby. I'm nocturnal. (growls)

Girl: (giggles)

Red: (drunk) Hey, hey, hey, hey Broseph!

Broseph: Whoa bro! Nice dance moves! (dances near girl)

Blue: (shocked) Someone please kill me.

(the 5 men walk out)

Red: AWESOME!

Blue: (groans) All that racket gave me a headache.

Broseph: Muscular guys like me can handle that shit.

Raccoon: (laughs) You boys act rike chirdren.

Trollz0r: (Rage Crying Face) The party was wicked it makes me feel so awesome!

Red: But we all know who's awesome out of all of us.

(everyone suddenly point to themselves)

Red: What!? Why aren't you guys pointing at me?

Blue: Because your a dick.

Broseph: Please, your such a boring shitty person bro.

Blue: Shut up!

Trollz0r: I'M awesome! I'm a meme!

Red: That sucks!

Raccoon: Oh prease. (pulls out sword) We arr know that I'm da best out of arr of you.

Red: (deep voice) There's only one way to solve this.

All: WAR OF THE DICKS!!!

(suddenly cuts to the olyimpics)

Pink: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the first ever- (pulls out paper and reads it) Uh.. Awesome Bros Competition... I'm your host Pink and this is my co-host Stacy.

Stacy: (loudly) Sup bitches!

Pink: Why did she have to be the co-host.

Stacy: Cuz I'm awesome! (drinks vodka)

Pink: Did Red teach you that?

Stacy: Who's Red?

Pink: (sighs) Never mind. Before we get to the events, let's introduce our competiters.

Stacy: First we have a red guy and-

Pink: Stacy! We have to fully introduce them! In row one we have the (gulps) sexy boy, Red. (shutters)

Red: (points to Pink & Stacy) Hey babies.

(Stacy happily waves at Red while Pink looks away annoyed)

Pink: In row two, we have the sort of cool but I still love guy, Blue!

Blue: (nervous) Must we really do this?

Pink: Good luck Blue!

Stacy: That's my ex down there.

Pink: WHAT!?

Stacy: Hey who's that? In row three? Nature's Ninja!

(Raccoon pulls the Great Sword of Destiny out)

Raccoon: They carr me da Nature's Ninja.

Stacy: Why?

Raccoon: You just-a said that!

Stacy: No I didn't

Pink: And there's Broseph & Trollz0r, yadda yadda yadda Okay! Time for the first game! Weight Lifting!

Stacy: Pink says you have to win by lifting the weights up the highest.

Pink: And whoever comes last is eliminated.

(Red is seen lifting the 500 pound weight)

Pink: And Red comes first!

(Broseph easily lifts it with one finger)

PInk: How is that possible!?

Broseph: All thanks to my muscles.

(Blue tries lifting it but pulls so hard his arms come off. Blue runs around screaming as blood squirts from his arms)

Pink: BLUE! (runs to him) Let's take you to a hospital!

Stacy: I think the black guy came last?

Trollz0r: (Forever Alone) Why no one cheer for me?

(Raccoon easily lifts the weight)

(after, Pink runs back)

Stacy: So Blue won and Broseph lost.

Pink: No! It's Blue LOSES and Broseph WINS!

Stacy: I thought it was to see who CAN'T lift it.

Pink: (face palms) Idiot. Anyways. Let's keep this going.

(shows Red having sex with a girl, Raccoon & Trollz0r do so as well but Broseph gets slapped in the face. It then shows Raccoon drinking several beer and then cuts to Trollz0r playing games)

Pink: Things are shaping up nicely.

Stacy: And we now have two players left!

Pink: Yes. Red & Raccoon are in the finals. They must face each other in a Death Battle!

Red: Prepare to meet your match Pikachu!

Raccoon: I can go all night baby. I'm nocturnal.

Red: Hey that's my line!

Raccoon: No it isn't

Red: Well that's what I said when I was in your body!

Raccoon: How dare you!

Stacy: 3, 2, 1, FUCK!

Pink: No- It's FIGHT!

Stacy: Whatever I can say what shit I want.

(Red & Raccoon begin sword fighting. Red & Raccoon repeatedly slash swords. Raccoon jumps over Red while Red kicks him when he has the chance)

Red: Too easy Picka-POO!

Raccoon: You need better insults.

(Raccoon uses his sword of destiny to create an earthquake and send Red into the air. Raccoon slashes Red but Red dodges again)

Red: Must- Not- Lose- Fight!

Raccoon: (falls on ground) Rose now and then I shall be more awesome.

Red: NEVER!!!

(Raccoon tries to slash Red but Red chops his arms off)

Raccoon: (screams in pain)

Red: Hah! I win!

(Raccoon picks his sword up with his mouth and stabs Red)

Red: Shit! Does this mean we tied!

Raccoon: Yes.

Red: Well I got you first so I win!

Raccoon: Aah Fu- (faints)

(Red faints as well)

Pink: It's a tie!

Stacy: They look so tired.

Pink: They're NOT tired they fainted! (looks down at them) Someone take them to the hospital.

(shows the two lying in hospital beds. Blue walks in)

Blue: You two really killed yourselves this time.

Red: Suck my sore dick!

Raccoon: Aah shut up-a!

Red: Whatever! I'm still awesome!

Blue: I'm so glad I moved out of the apartment.

-end-

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The poll was created at 21:43 on October 10, 2013, and so far 3 people voted.

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