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Winner's Gambit

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Winner's Gambit
Season 1, Episode 3
3. Winner's Gambit
Air date 6/24/13
Written by IONIXMUSIC
Directed by IONIXMUSIC
Episode guide
Previous
Big Snack
Next
Blue's Guide to Virginity
Does Derek have the balls to impress the love of his life, Sylvia? Let's find out!

Characters

  • Derek
  • Sylvia
  • Mr. Dingleberry

Transcript

(The adventure begins with Derek and Sylvia sitting on a cliff.)

Derek: Here. I got you a present.

Sylvia: Aww! Thanks!

(She opens up the box.)

Sylvia: *GASP*! A diamond ring! How much did this cost you?

Derek: 10,000 dollars...

Sylvia: AUGH! You cunt! You spent all of our rent money!

Derek: Sorry! You are so FUCKING hard to impress!

Sylvia: Not my fault you dated the alpha bitch.

Derek: Oh, and I'm mister sensitive. Suck on one, you fart-fucker.

Sylvia: Fine! Go be a whiny bitchcunt somewhere else!

(Derek is in his apartment, sitting on his couch eating icecream.)

Derek: (Maybe I should leave Sylvia...she is pretty mean.)

(Sylvia enters the apartment.)

Derek: Oh, look. It's Bitchy Whinehouse.

Sylvia: Derek...we need to talk.

Derek: Yeah. I know. You wanna dump me. What a cliché.

Sylvia: ...

(Sylvia closes the door.)

Derek: What a bitch.

(Cut to Mr. Dingleberry talking to Sylvia.)

Dingleberry: You want to evict Derek Snikne?

Sylvia: Yes...(God, what am I doing?)

Dingleberry: Well, to evict someone, you have to evict me of my VIRGINITY.

(20 VERY AWKWARD HARD MINUTES LATER)

Sylvia: Okay, evict Derek now(Oh god oh god oh god).

DB: Okay then. *over intercom* Derek Snikne, please bring all your belongings downstairs.

Sylvia: See ya!

(She exits the building as Derek comes downstairs.)

Derek: Yo.

DB: You're being evicted.

(Outside the building.)

Sylvia: The winner plays her gambit...

Sylvia: What have I done...what have I done...

(Back to Derek)

Derek: You are saying Sylvia is evicting me from the building? Where is she?!?

DB: She left.

Derek: *groans* She can't evict me!

DB: She's the owner of the building!

Derek: (That bitch...) I'll be right back.

(Derek runs to Sylvia and punches her in the face.)

Derek: YOU BITCH!

(He takes out a gun and shoots her.)

Sylvia: You're...the real...bitch...

(Sylvia flops to the ground.)

Derek: Seems like the game has changed.

END.

What do you think about this episode?
 
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The poll was created at 03:57 on June 25, 2013, and so far 16 people voted.

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